Have you ever encountered a person who simply will not budge one bit when you discuss changing a strongly held position?

Negotiating with them is even harder. They are highly intelligent and have achieved the success most dream of.

They are senior leaders, executives, founders, or ambitious professionals. They will spar with you mentally as you rise in business. Learning to create win-win scenarios is critical. They help build lasting and profitable relationships.

However, working through these one-on-one or small group conversations is challenging.

I've learned a few lessons. They've helped me talk-the-talk to soften iron-clad hearts.

Effective storytelling is a life-changing skill that every leader should master.

I'm going to share 3 quick storytelling tactics that work for me:

• Listen 3x More Than You Speak
• Find an Alignment Point
• Paint a Vision toward a Win-Win Scenario

When you're talking with someone who has hardened their stance and won't talk, it can feel like you're talking to a brick wall.

When you meet up with this type of adversary, you have to look deeper for ways to connect.

Consider these approaches to build a story for connecting.

Step 01: Listen 3X More Then You Speak

This first step is the most important. You must listen with your eyes, ears, and heart to discover clues that you can use for key points.

Try your best to keep your mind quiet and open to your environment. Pay attention to what the person is wearing, saying, doing, and asking for. Take great care to ask next-level questions. They should probe to help you understand their position better.

It may help to speak with people around them (peers), above them (other leaders), and below them (their staff or close associates).

Make a note of position points that build the foundation of your story as to why they are holding firm on a position. Drill into their reasons why from every angle.

Step 02: Find an Alignment Point

Now that you have a list of position points, you must test whether your mental sparring partner aligns on one or two critical points. Where most people fail here is by jumping to conclusions too early.

Take your time in the discussion or have several meetings if appropriate.

You are looking for a goal or point where both sides can come together and agree. If you are unable to find an exact point to align on, come together on other areas of interest that help to build mutual understanding.

Use storytelling to help with alignment on spaces for mutual agreement.

• Agree on the success of a shared collegiate team
• Agree on the direction that the industry is headed
• Agree on a football player that you both hate
• Agree on how much you both despise speaking in public

Whatever you can align on, take it as a win and build from there. Your goal is to ultimately create a shared alignment throughline that connects back to your areas of disagreement. Build up trust with one another and soften the stance to where you are having an open discussion.

Continue to press and build until concessions can be made toward a mutual outcome.

Step 03: Paint a Vision Toward a Win-Win Scenario

Finally, to bring it all home use stories as a visual and mental guide to envision a future where both sides see value.

I like to describe the win-win vision. It should highlight elements we agreed on earlier in the talks. Include the goal's outcomes and the agreed-upon key benefits. Explain how we achieve this. Address key concerns throughout your story. Also, highlight mini-agreements, like your favorite things to despise, into the story.

You don't need to be best friends, but you need to build understanding, respect, and shared interests in a story that resonates. Be sure to layer in visuals, data, and facts that support both of your shared interests.

Becoming a master a storytelling is highly effective for negotiations to build trust. Storytelling can also help you keep relationships. It can bring teams together for change. It can open doors for huge investment. There are boundless benefits, so practice often.

TL;DR:

01: Listen 3 times as much as you speak to build your base.

02: Find a throughline toward agreed upon points.

03: Envision a future that you both want through storytelling.

Enjoy today and see you next Saturday.

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